I’m a 20 Year Old Young Man – This Lesson from Jordan Peterson Resonated With Me Most

By Jackson Mann, MTI Intern

I received 12 Rules for Life and Beyond Order as a Christmas gift in 2023, knowing little about Jordan Peterson or self-help books. Curious, I began reading 12 Rules during my first semester of college and found its ideas surprisingly transformative—so much so that I later gave my copy to a close friend. A year later, I read Beyond Order and was similarly drawn in by Peterson’s insights. His work, often praised by young men for offering clarity and direction, is also criticized for being polarizing or overly rigid. Still, I found his reflections on responsibility, truth, and confronting chaos compelling. He offers a framework for finding meaning not through comfort, but through voluntary struggle, personal accountability, and growth.

One chapter that stood out to me was Chapter 4, titled “Notice That Opportunity Lurks Where Responsibility Has Been Abdicated.” In this chapter, Peterson argues that personal growth and meaning often emerge in places where others have failed to take responsibility. When people neglect their duties—whether in relationships, workplaces, or communities—chaos tends to fill the void. Rather than seeing this purely as a problem, Peterson encourages us to view these situations as opportunities for those willing to step up. Taking on responsibility, even when it isn’t expected, can lead to meaningful improvements in both one’s environment and sense of self. This was particularly important for me to read as a twenty-year-old, as I have a tendency to avoid responsibility— especially when I perceive it as beneath me or someone else’s job – which isn’t an ideal trait for someone living on their own for the first time.

An area of my life where I’ve seen this principle play out is in my relationship with my brother. During my first year of college, we rarely spoke outside of school breaks—not because of any conflict, but simply because I was caught up in the excitement and adjustment of a new environment. Despite how close we’ve always been, our relationship took a back seat for nearly the entire year. Part of this was on him as well—he wasn’t reaching out either. But once I realized how little we were communicating, I made a conscious effort to call him more regularly. When I took responsibility for strengthening our relationship instead of waiting for him to do it, he began to reciprocate. By stepping up first, I helped rebuild the connection we both valued but had allowed to fade.

Through this experience and Peterson’s insight, I’ve come to understand that meaning isn’t found in comfort or happiness, but in the voluntary acceptance of significant burdens—in my case, the burden of maintaining connection. When someone chooses to address a problem that others avoid—whether it’s organizing a disordered space, repairing a relationship, or supporting a neglected cause—they often become a source of stability and progress. Even if change is slow, the act of shouldering a meaningful burden offers something solid to hold onto, especially during life’s most uncertain and difficult moments, when doubt and fear creep in.

That said, the book is not without its flaws. At times, Peterson’s tone leans toward the apocalyptic, and his arguments occasionally rely too heavily on fear to persuade. Still, these imperfections are part of what makes the book feel real and human. It is written by someone who has endured significant personal, professional, and spiritual challenges—and emerged with a renewed sense of what it means to live – what it means to be human.